Hey Buddy (I just can't call you "doormat", okay?)
You've been hurt badly and it's natural to feel angry about that.
Try to work through your anger as best you can and move on.
Living in that anger isn't good for you, take it from someone who knows.
Why did she do what she did? Because she's sick.
I know that doesn't help much, but it's the truth.
Welcome to Sober Recovery, I'm glad you found us.
Gabe