Hi Eddie - hope you do come back and with a bit of good news. You helped me by saying how it felt, as our memories do tend to fade with time. That's why I relapsed so much before I finally "got it".
I wish I'd written down how I felt when I was going through it, but I couldn't have even held a pencil. All the things you mentioned and more - for about 3 days. Oh, I can never go back there! Thanks, Eddie.