vaya

This morning I could finally simply tell my son calmly that the time for him to go has come and that it's not because of my choice that this is happening. We had an agreement that he would go to rehab after detox, because that is what he said he wanted.....he initiated and I didn't force it on him. He has chosen not to follow through with the plan/deal,, not me. I have done all I can do. The rest is up to him. I told him he doesn't have to live in the streets. He can use my phone today to call rehabs, shelters, friends or whatever to make plans. He can still call the rehab we went to and go there. If he's been using he can still kick it and go there or somewhere else after a few days. He knows how it works and he knows how to work it.
I told him time was up and that he knew it was coming. He can stay here if he goes to rehab and gets the help he needs. Thus far he has chose not to. He was on his way to recovery and chose not to follow through. He can still turn that around if he want's to. I truly get it now that I don't have to feel like the bad guy here. I didn't yell or berate him. Yesterday's thread about not enabling really helped as have so many others.
I cannot make my son choose anything. I get to choose not to be caught up in this chaos any longer. He is an adult. He has choices. I can only try to put those choices before him but he is the one who decides what he wants to do. He's going to his girlfriend's house this weekend. He's going to see about staying there.
What's hard about this is I can see his bottom coming but he can't. I know I can't be a buffer anymore or keep him from going down. I can only pray he comes to realize how futile his life is this way and will get the help he needs.