LOL, Chrrist! You should have seen the unsightly mess I was last fall, before I saw the light (largely thanks to SR). And I still have miles to go.
Well who cares about last fall - you're awesome now!
Ya know about the kids, L2L has some good advise, I think.
Starting some conversation may be good now. Maybe start with your 12 year old first.
My fear is that they may have feelings and thoughts THEY need to talk about. They have to know something is very wrong.
My kids are around the same age as yours and they just wanted to cry and tell me they were scared and then I was able to give them the comfort they needed.
There was a lot of emotion there that's for sure. We all felt better once it was out in the open.
just my thought.