I have been with my A SO for a year now and am really struggling. Why? Because I have no knowledge of alcoholism and have now fallen very in love with an alcoholic. Someone I didn't even realize he was an alcoholic until now. Ive been coming here and also reading about what all might be involved for me. It seems like a huge risk. And although I have tried to break up wtih him, I just seem not able to.
He definitely can't go a day without his beer. When he first moved in with me, things were pretty rough. My kids didn't adjust well. His adult son spent nearly every weekend with us. It was all quite an adjustment. There were several other obstacles as well. So the first 6 months were rough. He would occasionally drink too much and got into arguments with me and twice with my oldest daughter. His son drank a lot too. After his second DUI, his son has quit drinking.
Now, things are pretty calm. Son isn't coming around so much to give us all a little space. My daughters are getting along much better with SO. He seems to have a handle on his drinking. But he still drinks so much. He doesn't get drunk. But he consumes a large amount of beer. a 12 pack nightly I would guess and maybe more on the weekend. No liquor, no drinking before noon. He isn't out at bars, he's home with me. He's kind, he works hard. He never misses work due to drinking. He is responsible, kind, loving, funny.
But I have read about how progressive alcoholism is. Does this mean he will progress and one day I won't recognize him?? I don't want to give him up just because I am afraid of what COULD happen. But, from what I have read it seems inevitable that he will be so addicted he can't stop drinking and he will hit rock bottom and my life will be miserable. How do I process all of this? I'm so confused. Do I just take things one day at a time and if I become unhappy then I end it? Or do I just cut my losses now? this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I just don't know how to make sense of all of this. Things have never been better right now. But will it last??
I just notice this weekend how he has little broken blood vessels across the top of his cheeks. A sign of alcoholism, isn't it? Soon will his nose look like that? After meeting my SO, my best friend immediately asked me if he was an alcoholic. she said he looked like one.
