Thanks so much to all of you for your kind welcome.
I did attend the Al-Anon meeting last night. It seems like a nice group. I ended up listening to everyone instead of sharing myself, as I surely would have bawled my eyes out and been incoherent if I'd tried to tell my story. Maybe next time I'll be able to do that. If I speak up early, I will hopefully get some insight about talking to the kids, so that's some motivation right there.
I told the kids I was going to "a meeting," but they didn't ask for details. It didn't feel right to start explaining Al-Anon to them out of the blue and close to bedtime, so I am saving that conversation for the near future.
The whole Dad-is-an-alcoholic thing is awkward, because he doesn't think he has a drinking problem. He just likes the taste of beer. And wine. Plus, he doesn't drink every day, or get wasted every time he drinks, or beat me. And he has a job and does the laundry and mows the lawn. So he must be OK.
Ugh.
Jadmack, did you really stay with your AH for 27 years? Ugh again--this will be me if I don't keep taking those small steps.
I've not tried therapy as I'm not yet ready to fully confront the years of crap stored in my brain. Just going to the meeting and introducing myself here is enough change for the moment.
Again, thanks to all of you who posted here. I want to become a participant here instead of a lurker, so I will certainly be back.