Hmm L2L, you got me thinking! Tender-hearted and tough. People have always told me I'm tough, driven, etc... and I feel like the EXACT opposite. Now you've shifted my perception yet again. Actually, I went back and read quite a bit of your previous posts, and I could really relate to a lot of your 'internal dialogue' and just what I gather from you as a person. I can be really hard on myself, and like taking charge said, feel 'less than'... so it's great to change the way I view myself.
TakingCharge,
I really enjoyed reading your response!
"Once I started working on those false impressions I have/learned, I realized they are simply not true. Well it is still in progress. But once i start realizing my many gifts, qualities, achievements; since I have treated myself like a human being and with more compassion, being "rejected" by some person is not the end of the world at all."
After EVERYONE'S response here.. I really started viewing things in the manner you just described. I think it helps knowing I'm dealing with a sociopathic man... and being rejected by him is only in his nature. It will run it's course in his life, and THANK GOD I'm not the target anymore. While it hurts and I feel duped, I know it's a blessing.
I get attention from guys - and I truly don't really like it. I'm comfortable going home and sleeping in my bed, ALL ALONE! I look forward to just cleaning my house this weekend (how odd is that)... and don't even care if I spend it alone. Taking care of yourself feels great!
"It is funny how many don't become what we wished or "could be", but in our recovery WE become much better than we were. And WE are not coming back to them. Others cannot or don't want to improve, but we do and there is no stopping us...."
This is one thing I pride myself on. My desire to better myself! I've seen how many people live in denial, and I think it makes us a special bunch of people, lol!
**my response is so blah... waiting for the coffee to kick in. That's another bad habit I'd like to cut out eventually, caffeine! Drink WAYYYYYYYYY too much. I've eliminated diet soda for the most part, so it's a step!!