I remember that awfull gasping that you describe. When I was coming down off a binge of alcohol and drugs then I used to always get really panicky that I was going to swallow my tongue or stop breathing as my breathing would be all out of sync. My mind would suddenly race and i would jump up and be gasping for breath. I remember pacing around in my room for hours and hours just round in circles as if I kept moving then it made the thought of dieing lessen. Always aware that another drink would sort me out.
man thanks for reminding me of my comedowns man. I really have some terrible memories etched into my psyche. Just typing this is disturbing those old memories and makes me a little anxious.
'one day at a time'. It's the only way I could stay stopped. It's applies as much to thinking about life than it does to not drinking. Thinking about and projecting into the future just makes the prospect of drinking thoughts more liely.
All the best