Yesterday was not a good day, but I'm proud of myself for making it through. It was just one problem after another, and by bedtime I was feeling absolutely manic. Luckily I slept well, so I woke up feeling brand new this morning.
I'm not going to lie. It was a struggle not to drink yesterday, and I had two competing voices in my head going back and forth ad nauseam with the "should I or shouldn't I." It helped to feel like I'm accountable to SR now, because I really didn't want to have to log on today and admit to letting my weaker self win.
I had to get creative. I knew I would be OK as long as I could stay home where there is nothing to tempt me, but I had to take my son to a class later in the day. I didn't trust myself to not be having a weak moment just as I happened to drive past a liquor store, so I put together the most hideous outfit I could come up with so I would be too embarrassed to go in anywhere. The child now thinks I'm nuts, but it worked! I didn't even consider buying wine while I was out because I knew there was no way in hell I was getting out of that car.
Day 4 and feeling strong again. Luckily I was able to resolve all of the problems that occurred yesterday, so nothing was hanging over my head this morning, and things have been very calm around here today. I'm self-employed and I work from home, which is somewhat of a double-edged sword. I spend a lot of time here so I can avoid the temptations out in the world more than some people might be able to do, but it also gives me a private place to lose control at any time during the day. Needless to say, there is no alcohol in the house, and there won't be. My husband is fully supportive and only rarely drinks himself.