Thank you all for your support. I feel a little better today - last night I was pretty much a wreck. I took the day off work to process this new information and get some rest. This week has been very stressful. In addition to all of the things with my mom I went thru a huge Osha inspection at my job. I am a warehouse manager and they left no stone unturned in my operation, interviewed my employees and checked documentation. I passed!
My mom seems ok today starting dialysis and tomorrow more tests. My brother is on his way there - he has been on a motorcycle trip with my SIL for a couple of weeks. He only lives about 6 hours from mom so that is better than my distance. My mom has a wonderful group of Alanon friends that are there to support her now. She has so much going on her room is like a party every day!
Two of her friends are chaplans at the hospital she is in too which is nice. She even has a friend that comes in and plays the flute for healing. My mom has made the rule with everyone that no one is allowed to be sad for more than couple of minutes in her space - she wants to stay as positive as possible and keep up on regular life. She feels like we can be sad with each other but her space will be filled with life no matter how sick she is. My mom is hard core that way - wouldnt suprise me if she gets a timer to have in there so people don't go over thier alloted "tear time". I can't wait to get home and be there - being so far away has been tough. I talk to her every couple of hours but it is not the same.
Alanon and the 12 steps will carry me through this I know. I am so grateful for my program now - one day at a time. My mom has spent the greater portion of her adult life in Alanon and working the steps. Besides giving me life she has given my the gift of "new life" through sharing program with me over the years. I am blessed to had my mom all this time.
Thank You all again for the support - it means a lot to me. Even though I have not been here long it feels like home.
and Abf? Pffffft - it is what it is. It is not a priority now. Not even close.