"came on yesterday and introduced myself, last night when I got off work I went straight to the liquor store and bought a pint of bourbon."
That's the robot. Mine came to life when I was about 27, and it took 13 or 14 years for it to be unplugged.
It dawned on me at 6 months that I had never been without alcohol for so long, even before the daily robotic thing appeared. Now that 8 months will be there in a couple of days, it's a definite: never been this long without alcohol since I was legal to drink in 1987.
For the people who are questioning/searching and think that drinking everyday is the requirement for being an alcoholic, that's not true. I started being an alcoholic before the daily robot was there, because of the WAY I drank, the bond that was being formed even though the episodes had a different rhythm and were spread apart and fun was had. Not every person who questions their drinking is necessarily an alcoholic. But it's worth it to put a lot of emphasis on the questioning, because it can turn out to be real. Investigate.
MrSerious, I and others can hear you looking for a way to turn off what I am calling the robot. It's something only the individual has the ability to achieve. It's a scary thought, but there is a comfort in it somewhere too (there was for me). And knowing that lots of strangers have been in their own version of your experience can help.