bettymilo

Hi everyone, I found this forum after doing a search for how to deal with an alcoholic.

My BF of 3 years is an alcoholic, and in severe denial. He is not physically abusive, and he keeps a regular job and attends school full-time. He helps cook and clean the house (I do not live with him, but spend about half the week at his place), takes good care of his pets, and stays on top of his bills. For all of these things, I am blessed, and so is he. However, it is clear that he has a problem. He drinks every single night, he says "to help him sleep", and often (once every 1-2 weeks) binges to the point of blackout. He does not drive drunk, and only drinks at home, so he is not a danger to others, but I do worry about his health.

I have tried talking to him about his drinking, asking him to try alternative methods to help him sleep at night, but of course he refuses or changes the subject. Last night we got in a fight when he was drunk, and this morning, in a fit of anger, I tried to talk to him about his addiction. I know now that it was a mistake to do so in that manner, but the damage is done.

I don't want to leave him, and I honestly don't see a reason to do so. We have a great time together, we love each other, and his drinking rarely affects me, as he does his "heavy drinking" after I've gone to bed. I am worried that his habits will affect our relationship, though. I worry about his health (he is 30, with a history of diabetes in the family), and I worry that his addiction will worsen in time. Mostly, I'm worried that he feels he can't or won't talk to me about what he's going through. Sorry if this is TMI, but our sex life has diminished greatly since the beginning of the relationship, and I tend to blame that on the alcohol.

I guess what I'm looking for is a ray of hope... is there anyone out there who has a success story for me? Someone whose boyfriend or husband managed their addiction and saved their relationship? I get depressed when all the random anonymous advice on the internet says I should leave him... I love him and I'm going to do all I can to help him before I bail out.

Thanks for listening, and thanks in advance for your help and support!