Your recovery is your own, not your step-mothers, even if she is a substance abuse counselor. Like Dee said, no one is saying you should be selfish, per se; just that your recovery should be more important than say....going out to a bar with friends just to prove you can do it. When situations arise that you feel might put your sobriety at risk, you are encouraged to think about your sobriety moreso than whether or not someone's feelings will be hurt if you don't attend some function at a club or some such thing. Those who love you and care about your well-being will understand and not be hurt or upset if you don't attend. Does that make sense?