Hi Floggo! Welcome!
As for your boyfriend, you may want to remind him that you cannot be his higher power. I was with a RAH for a year-I used to go to AA meetings with him to be supportive-he used to say that a lot-he recognized that I could not be his higher power.
In AA they talked a lot about the first year of sobriety. This is a rough time. The general recommendation in AA is that someone in recovery NOT seek out a relationship at that time, as the first year can be tough.
Do you go to al-anon? Even tho your bf is sober, the issues that led him into his disease are still there. A lot of the A behavior is still there. Just like codependency kind of trains us into certain maladaptive ways of coping that can stay with us long after the alcoholism or alcoholic is gone, alcoholism has trained his brain to look at things a certain way. It takes a lot of time, work and patience for him to learn new coping skills to replace the escape of the drink.
It's important throughout all of this, to focus on yourself and your own health and not get too wrapped up in his issues. Take care of yourself!
Originally Posted by
Floggo 
Hi Everyone~
I'm dating an recovering alcoholic who's been sober, with the help of AA, for almost 7 months. He's been so optimistic and hopeful until about 2 months ago. He's not working the steps because he's questioning if he's even an alcoholic at all. He's still sober, but lately he gets very depressed and tempted and withdraws. I understand being tempted by something that's been your first choice coping method for years. But instead of reaching out, he's started wallowing in self pity, being disrespectful to everyone including his closest friends, complaining and tearing everyone down, and acting like nothing he's doing is wrong.
I can be patient with him because I know he's going through a rough time and because we really love each other. He's never treats me in a degrading way, but the constant negativity is really starting to wear me down. He says that he can't live without me, which puts me in the position of being his savior. I have a 2 year old. I can't put love first, I put HER first. He understands that, but doesn't take it into account when I end up being the only one working on our relationship. He's so quick to apologize and say he's going to work on things when I talk to him about it. He's always honest and always admits his mistakes. But then he turns them into self pity, and I end up feeling guilty.
My question is when is love no longer a good reason to stay in a relationship? Because he's still sobering, and can still change. But I don't want to mix patience with false hope.
I just don't want to end things. At what point would I need to?