Thank you, what a great thing to think that maybe all of this anger is not necessarily "wrong" per say, but just that I need to learn how to express it. That is something I seem to be able to control, the anger is not. I am also going to work on counting to 20 before I even make a comment on something I am angry about. I want to THINK about what I say, not regret what I said.
I know not to expect complete "normalcy" and know it is not even rational. Half of the couples I think are normal have issues or are getting a divorce. I think the anger is just consuming me like a slow fire right now and it makes it difficult to focus and be happy, which is what I want so badly, happiness. I am so scared that my kids will not grow up to be happy and healthy that between fear and anger I dont seem to have much left.
You are all so amazing on your insight into this. I thank you so much for your input and support.