Yes, I go to a support group and am also in individual counseling bi-weekly. I usually feel great after these things and am on board with everything. I think I am just physically and mentally tired and that makes it all seem a little worse.
I know that he has only been back home from rehab for a very short amount of time (Since the beginning of May). It has just been a rocky time for me mentally. I was so focused on his drinking that I was not thinking about all the other ways we have grown apart or become incompatable it seems. I want to try to get my family back where we need to be. He is trying and I know that. I have always been a person who makes snap decisions, it is what I am know for. In this instance, it takes so much time and hard work that it is just hard for me to process.
I look at the other ladies in my group and I see how far they have come, even in a years time, so I know time is what I have to give it. I guess I am just inpatient and want some normalcy in my life. I also am bothered by how quick I am to anger these days. I get that honestly (my dad and sister are the same way) but lately it seems to be worse than usual.
I think I have so much anger that it escapes in short bursts and I hate that about myself. I want to break that chain and now I can see my 10 y/p daughter is becoming the same way.
I am trying to find a way to make peace within myself and rid myself of all of this anger, I just cannot seem to find it. I do realize I have Post Tram. Stress. and I am reading all the right books, doing all the right things, why can I not just get myself on track with this?? One day it will come and I will have peace and calm. Until then I will chip away at it and pray to God to give me patience and guidance.
Thank you all again for allowing my rambling!!
God Bless!