Thanks everyone, and thanks to Mike who is very skilled in coupling suggestions with compassion.
I have had that Aha moment, and am walking through all of that today. With the kids home from school for the summer, I have less time to process and figure things out, at least during the day, but today I feel strong again.
thank you to those who acknowledged my childhood, my strength and my wisdom. I was having a melt down last night. thank goodness for this place.
My thoughts are for your children because I'm sure they could benefit if you stop the cycle now. It's on you to make their environment a healthy one.
Jazzman
My children are my first thoughts in everything I do. What I've written here is in no way a full scale disclosure of my parenting or my life and I would think most folks would know that. I am highly protective of them, have put them in therapy and work every day to assure they are safe. It's the biggest reason i'm tortured by this cycle with my AH.
I grew up in an abusive sick home and am doing everything within my power to stop that cycle-for my children. To imply I don't know my parental responsibilities, or that I am not working as hard as humanly possible to keep my kids safe, is offensive. I'm not some dumbass that doesn't know how important it is to keep my children safe.