The blame game is the one played by virtually every addicted soul, and too often believed by the SO or spouse. I got it from my late AH, but as he had been drinking heavily since serving in the army some 20 years prior to meeting me, I could not fall for it.....trust me, he tried hard.
He did say he could stop anytime he wanted to, and "proved" it, by no wine for 6 months, just drank soda water. Hmmmmm! Funny thing how a few "soda waters" had the same effect on him as a few beers or a few glasses of wine had.
He resumed his wine drinking when we moved house, and then I found out that those soda waters had been laced with vodka.....as neighbour found the stash hidden behind her shed. A year later I walked away from him after 27 years, as it was a nightmare.
I felt all the emotional trauma of it, depression, guilt, self blame, and physical ills like asthma, uticaria and shot nerves til it seemed he had what he wanted, to do as he liked and drink himself into oblivion day in and day out, and no nagging wife to bother him.
Educate yourself on alcoholism and don't let him back until you know all you can on what you are letting yourself in for. It isn't a crime to love an A, but you can be sentenced to a long, hard time of servitude for doing so. Worth that? No way.
God bless