Thank you for all the helpful advice. I know you all have been down this road and know what worked for you. I would really like to avoid telling my family, but i'm open to treatment. My parents are dealing with the burden of two of my siblings and things they've done, one including drugs. I just feel like it would be another huge disappointment. It has helped being far from my triggers, the mental aspect is harder at times than the physical, but here I don't have to work, I'm away from our dealer and I'm forced to face this head on. The advice about the alcohol makes a lot of sense. I can count on 10 fingers how many times I've drank in my life, it's never been my cup of tea but I can really see how it would be bad with my addictive nature. It's just hard trying to out on a good face, take care of my daughter and go through this at the sane time. However, I invested in some immodium and Tylenol, took the kids out despite all the feelings of NOT wanting to and I feel somewhat better. I kbowi have a long road but better is better. I will be tempted for forever probably but I can honestly say I don't ever want to go through these withdrawels again! My church has an addiction support group that meets on Sundays, my husband a couple months back said he didn't think we needed to but he probably feels differently now. If he doesn't go I think I will. I need to find other ways to cope with my stress. Pills have always been there and it's hard to imagine life without them but this needs to happen! Thanks again.