DesertEyes

Hello there utopia

I use a lot of different tools for that. First, I break it up into two _smaller_ problems.

One problem is the "triggers" that cause the fear to pop up in the first place. What I do for that is write down on paper the situations I am in that cause those triggers to happen. The people, things that are said, actions being done. Once I have that I can prepare myself mentally knowing that certain situations cause triggers and do something distracting, or step out of the room, or participate in the activity so I am not feeling passive and out of control.

A separate problem is what to do once the fear is there. The biggest help there is Step 11. I take time every day to do a little prayer and meditation. That is just a way to exercise serenity so I can _feel_ it when I want it at later times. When I get fear, or any other negative emotion, I can just remember all those times I spend doing step 11 to help me "unwind".

Recovery tells me that fear is a negative expectation. Expectation is my mind attempting to control the world around me by predicting the future. Therefore, I only fear when I am trying to control the world to match my desires, instead of controlling my desires to match the world. Which is the long way of explaining the Serenity Prayer

Take all of the above and I realize that I have to take action in my life to be emotionally prepared for those situations I cannot change, without attempting to control them. I hand them over to my HP cuz they're just not on my "job description" and just focus on those things I _can_ change, like me.

It doesn't completely take the fear away, but it lowers the intensity considerably to where I can just take a deep breath, thank the HP for the good things in my life, and get back to living life as best I can.

Mike