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Old 07-10-2010, 12:10 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
mrphillipctrs1's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
Posts: 161
Hey Seeker,

I wish I would have bolted during the phase you are in right now. I did not, I actually wound up taking my XAGF to detox and then to rehab. I would visit her at rehab about once a week, and helped her with basics while she was there. She relapsed twice while she was there, and the last time ran off with a recovering alcoholic (RA) who could meet her immediate needs. The point is, that she gave up on her recovery program and I was expendable, had been the whole time. It has taken Al Anon and my HP and SR to show me the light.

I know it hurts, I knew my XAGF for over 18 years prior to our relationship, we were very good friends. What the whole experience taught me is that I come first, and no one else. I am a ENFP, so I am a giver as well. I have a job that requires me to give and to rescue folks. No wonder I am really good at what I do!

The lessons I learned as a result of this whole thing, was that I needed to do a lot of work on me, before I could have a relationship with anyone else. I learned to let go, and Let God. It has not been easy, in fact it is hands down the hardest thing I have had to do in my life, (I lost both my parents at a young age).

My advice to you, is to leave and don't look back, it will be difficult no doubt, but it will save you an untold amount of misery and finances, and in the end result you will be able to give to others in a healthy way, and they in turn will give back to you what you deserve.
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freefalling (07-10-2010), sandrawg (07-10-2010)