Yes, and every RAH who ever posts on the Family and Friends forum, I've noticed, has said the same thing.
Go to the "Alcoholism" section of this forum and you will see the same message reiterated over and over, by both the active and recovering As on there. They all say "Nothing anyone said or did made a bit of difference in my decision to seek help."
It's quite sobering (no pun intended), considering how much time, effort and energy most of us have wasted trying to make the A in our life "see the light." It's ultimately wasted energy better spent on taking care of ourselves.
Originally Posted by
suki44883 
Seeker, you are going to have to let go of your ego. You cannot save her. If you have read the stickies and continue to read and post here, you will see that many, many of us have been exactly where you are and many have been in far worse situations. The underlying theme is that we have learned that we cannot control another person and make them do or say or act any other way. We all wanted to control the situation. We all felt like there was something we would ultimately say or do that would cause that light bulb to click for our alcoholics. So, we kept trying, sometimes for many years. In the end, most of us realized that we were only prolonging our own agony and finally stopped. You are not abandoning her. You are getting out of her way and allowing her to live the life she chooses to live.