I am feeling neglected.
Have you told your husband this? I'm a recovering addict and so is my husband. I think we all struggle to find balance between our personal programs and the rest of our lives. I would suggest giving Al-Anon another chance, maybe check out the Al-Anon board here. I mostly go to NA, but because of my husband, sometimes I need an Al-Anon meeting.
It seems you realize the life-or-death importance of your husband having a program, but what about you? Having your own program can help you sort out what your needs are, how to meet them, and how to ask for help when you can't meet them alone. If you need more of your husband's time, you need to let him know (if you haven't already). You can work together on finding that balance.
I hope this makes sense and helps some. I'm pretty tired and I might be incoherent. If you want to PM me, feel free. Maybe I'll be more lucid. Wishing you both the best!
Love, Eddie