Thank you all. I feel better just for reading your messages, and feeling that I am NOT alone. (whereas, before, I thought I was alone, and I didn't know what to do)
This is a good site. I will try very hard to hang in there with everyone.
Artsoul is right-i have to remember how good it feels to wake up in the morning and not feel a bit sick to my stomach from the night before. AND I am trying to think hard about what things will be like even 1 year (let alone 5 years) from now if I do not give this bad habit up...
Thanks again.