Oh, mentallyexh... Hugs. What an a--. My first thought reading your post was how could any one say that to a 19 mo? For some reason reminded me of my STBXAH's comments to our son when he was learning to walk and fell and skinned his knee on the sidewalk, or tripped on something, and cried. His response was invariably "Suck it up." Just that, no "Are you OK?" no "Let's see." just "Suck it up." Seriously? Who tells a baby/toddler to suck it up? (Ok, a drunk....)
I can completely understand your shock. I still find myself shocked by the cr-- that comes out of my STBXAH's mouth, by stuff that I remember as I work through my recovery. I *know* I shouldn't be surprised. I know that it's just how twisted his pysche/personality/disease has become. I know, I know, I know. And yet the surprise is there. *sighes*
The good news (?) is that I'm finding myself shocked less often, or at least the shock wears off really quickly - something occasionally gets through, but for the most part I can remind myself that yes STBXAH is an a--, an alcoholic yes, but an a-- nonetheless.