@steve1840 - Thank you. @ anvilhead, I am trying to explore my thoughts, feeling and action, however I have a tendency to over analyze to the point I believe I self-sabotage myself and emotionally become clouded. But I understand it’s a work in progress and recovery is a long journey towards "healthiness". I am still incredibly confused and feelings are a mess. I can only take care of me and I don’t know how to do sincerely do that anymore. I feel pathetic saying that out loud, but truth be told, when it comes right down to me – I don’t even know where to begin or who I am anymore. It is soooo much easier taking care of my children, my family, and/or my responsibilities then it is to take care of me and my emotional, physical and mental health.. AHHHH !!!! Well it’s the weekend, kids are gone and I guess today is as good as any day to start taking care of me. Guess I will start with my room – whole house is clean but my room is a mess.