Hi tooling - glad you found your way here. That feeling of being a "better person" only lasts for an hour or two and then goes downhill from there, like you said. It seemed like it was helping me too, but it's an illusion. I discovered that it wasn't worth ruining my life, health and mind for a brief period of "forgetting."
Things do get worse if we keep drinking. I hope you keep posting and reading. You'll find alot of support and understanding. It's really helped me stay sober.