Evey2010

Thus far, he's been good the entire time. I mean, I should note I've only known him a year. Without getting into all the details, it was a bit of a whirlwind romance culmanating into a very unexpected pregnancy (I had thought and been told I was infertile). We were both very happy and decided to get married because we were/are in love and wanted our child born into a happy marriage (which it has been). We always argued about his drinking... from the start of the relationship. And I do recall, at some point, early on, thinking I had to make a choice of whether or not I wanted to go down this road again... and I thought I could "handle it." I figured, you roll the dice with everyone anyway... what's the difference now? I know when who married men who never drank for the first few years they were together and then all of a sudden one day they find the guy they thought was so sober collapsed on the floor every night. I knew another woman who married a drinker who then became sober for 20 years!! ...only to start drinking again and die. So... I suppose I just figured, it could happen to anyone at anytime. And I loved this man and figured he was worth the risk as much as anyone else.

So, anyway, I don't know what I'll do if that day comes that his habit becomes a problem I absolutely can't live with. Even if tomorrow he stopped drinking altogether, I'd still be left wondering "what if he starts again?" What's the point in living one's life always worried about what someone else might do or who they might become? Again, I'm just going to take the old Al Anon advice, "one day at a time." Or, as my mom likes to say, sometimes if you have to do just one hour at a time or one minute at a time. I do know, from Al Anon and just from my loving family and friends, how to take care of myself come what may. I know I'm loved and I know I'll be alright no matter what happens.