Welcome jmf! I know it's hard to believe things can be better again, but they can. You have an addiction/disease, but you are more than that disease. You are the person that is reaching out for help and wants to stop. Listen to that person (rather than the alcoholic voice). You've been doing this for most of your life, so it's going to take some time to learn how to live sober.
Get all the support you can (and see a doctor if you need to). Take it a day at a time and be patient with yourself. I'm so glad you're here!
