Dissapointed and have to start over
I have had quite a few 24 hours strung together but I blew it over the July 1st holiday weekend and am really disappointed in myself. I should have reached out and called someone when I was being tempted. It was all the partying going on around me that got to me. Every where in my condo people were drinking , sociallizing, laughing and singing. I ended up wanting what they had and forgot to emphasize to myself that I am just not like them . I was just lucky that nothing happened because all it takes is one drink and who knows where ai could end up. Fortunately I FOR SOME REASON VERY UNLIKE ME MANAGED SOME HOW TO ONLY HAVE 3 DRINKS ONE DAY AND 3 DRINKS THE NEXT DAY. However this is enough to stengthen the cycle of craving and one drink is always one drink too many. I don't understand how I spend so much of my life doing the do's of recovery (go to 1 to 2 meetings a day, pray and meditate ect...) but in times of weakness all my resove to stay sober is nowhere to be seen. Now I hve to dust myself off and start all over. I feel beaten up and down. It certainly was not worth it!!!!!!!!!