I am feeling so down - don't really want to drink, but feel completely overwhelmed... It's hard facing all of the stuff I was numbing out with drink.. and looking at the huge climb it's going to take to get past all of this stuff just makes me want to send up the white flag and give up... was so much easier in some ways when I could just drown myself in a bottle and forget it all -
Really like my sponsor, but so unmotivated and lack of interest in going to the meetings.. not really how it's supposed to work is it? Went to the one meeting got my sponsor and haven't been back - but we are still going on our walks each morning - I am going to try to get to a meeting today - maybe when I go more it won't seem so hard. I enjoyed the meeting, I just still have this " I don't want to be one of those AA people" thing in my head. I like the idea of sponsorship, the steps seem like a great tool for getting in a better place and real sobriety, just the meetings- can't seem to get motivated for that part..
Sorry for all the negativity and whining.. just thought it would be good to get it out -
I am going to go try to take a nap - I have been unable to sleep at night since quitting and I am sure that is not helping my attitude.
Hope everyone else is having a good day and staying strong!