In shock but feeling good!
It has been three weeks since I have seen my dry drunk fiance' face to face. It has been 9 days since I have gone no contact. I came back to this site a few days ago and began reading ... and I am in shock at the delusions I have had about living a long happy life with him. We are 7 months after his stint in alcohol rehab. He stopped going to AA after 40 days. He is not working on himself at all. I caught him having profiles on dating sites - again. He continued to lie right to my face. In May he walked out of couples therapy when I provided proof of a lie he had told and he never went back. He is no different than he ever was.
At times I cry in disbelief, most of the time I just keep moving forward. The no contact makes me extremely proud of myself. I am not the one who has lost, he is. Sadly, he will never admit that to himself.
I have always had the vision that the next girl he meets will have the life I always wanted - the POTENTIAL of him has always kept me fighting for this relationship. He said all the right things when we first met, but none of them were the truth about the person he really is. I have been fighting for a dream, thats it. He truly has nothing to offer anyone. I feel sadness and pity.
My very wise 12 year old son told me recently to never let him back in our lives. He said, "Mom, you deserve someone who makes you happy. Just make sure he is rich!" :ghug3 Sad to say, my 12 year old son has more brains in his head than this guy.
I thank God every day that I own my own home, have a good job, a great ex-husband and father to my two kids. I thank God that I never married this man or let him move in here. I thank God that I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that even alone I can be happy.
It is sad to see some of the situations on here; but it makes me realize that I do not have it so bad. It doesn't make my heartbreak any less.
The message is this - I - WE - all deserve people who will love us completely. Shame on those that do not appreciate us, tell us the truth, and value our love. We can only save ourselves.