Coffee... I'm not picking on you... rather I see me and my past behaviors in your story... so I guess you could say I'm having codie-codie triggers
When you said
"I met "someone" a week and a half ago. Pretty immediate click with this man, we spent three hours talking instead of the usualy 1 - 2, and ended our evening with a really nice stroll through the park.
*Seeing someone I already know I like.
Ok... I understand attraction... 3 hours of together time does not constitute a foundation for a relationship... you only gave him 1 hour more than the norm... it is the beginnings of the possibility of a foundation for a relationship...
1 hour more than the usual and all the sudden it has value? I've spent longer time on the phone with someone in India trying to fix my computer...
The point I'm trying to make... it seems your reaction far outweighted the activity and time spent (3 hours physical + phone calls,etc.) toward having a healthy relationship.
You have already "assigned" a value to this person... don't misunderstand me... we all have value... but you perhaps have given him a boyfriend type mantle to wear...
and you've only known him for a week and a half!
Time is telling about another persons values and integrity... not quantity.
So, really trying to not go into fantasy land about a potential future relationship, trying to do what I'm supposed to do, but dang, it's hard.
*Wondering if - maybe - this will turn out to be my next significant relationship
Time will tell if he is worthy of your new found standards... remember... the relationships that we've had that have failed... we had our part in that too... it's now our job to figure out what WE did to contribute to that failure... if it means we disregarded red flags... it's up to us to fix us... so we don't repeat the storyline with a new person.
There has been a lot of contact in that first week and a half. A ton of emails, texts, and phone calls. We both seem to be uber-communicators, and like the written word."
*Having intermittent communication, building a rapport and TRUST
You literally only have a week and a half of history with this individual... you don't know him... yet you have already (knowingly or unknowingly) placed your 'well-being' in his care... what's the rush? If it seems soooo good... take your time... get to know him... make him show you that its you he would like to spend time with and I don't mean quantity... I'm talking quality.
*Receive a NO REPLY, shoots me right back to all the times of the NO REPLY from xabf:
SCARED, SCARED, SCARED. "When a man does this, it means he is not trustworthy, it means he is lying to me about who he is, it means I can't trust him"
You have only been in contact with this guy for a week and a half? If your triggers are already raging with "Scared, scared, scared".... you have internal work to do... your internal foundation needs to be fixed before you try and contribute to a combined foundation....
I hope that makes sense.
Kelsey Grammar from "Fraiser"... has an excellent biography... I listened to the audio version... he was a raging alcoholic and addict... when he met "the one" he told her... I've got to fix me first... I hope you're available in the future.... and he walked away from her that night.... he treasured her so much that he sacrificed immediate gratification for a sense of long-term purpose... he did go and get help and they did eventually get together.... but he knew he didn't want to screw this one up....
((hugs))