Thanks Merc. Great post! I've been thinking about this a lot recently. I'm going to see fireworks Sunday night too and I've been envisioning it because normally I'd be drinking and this year I won't be. Also, going to a BBQ tomorrow where normally I probably would be drinking. I have the same kind of boredom/anxiety with social situations where drinking kind of excuses me from making an effort and I think that is a part of why I do it. (Not the only reason, though, cuz I also drink alone.) Anyway, this year at the BBQ I will be making an effort. And guess what? I have a feeling that it might be more rewarding than being half drunk and half there.
I also think the thing about drinking is that it always leads to wanting more. Sometimes even while I'm on one drink, I'm thinking about the next one (often, actually). It creates anxiety rather than relieving it. I used to do coke (for about a year–stopped on my own because I didn't really like it) and the thing I didn't like about it was that it always kind of ruined my night. I'd do a line and then they entire night no matter what was happening around me, a large part of my focus and attention would be on getting to the bathroom or wherever to do more. That's honestly not that fun. So now I feel the drinking has become a bit like that.