Not2bforgot10

I am needing (have decided) to break away from my alcoholic, former coke user, mentally ill N (Narcissist). Is anyone quitefamiliar with N's?

I need advice... I have decided against being friends with her for a while (as the board suggested) and maybe indefinitely, but I still have this strange urge to keep her on my Facebook.

I will not look at her Facebook (I promise that), but I ironically have this weird desire to not delete her yet... which I know doesn't make sense if I am not going to look at her page, but/and I guess I want her to be able to still see my page and see updates... (And no, I am not talking about new relationships, etc. because I have committed to being celibate for at least one year; I am more or less referring to general posts, namely on my health and new lifestyle).

I do and I don't want to keep her on my Facebook. I may end up deleting her entirely off my facebook. At the moment though I am conflicted. I need help.

Has anyone ever dated a narcissist?

Would you be willing to share your experience with the breakup and being (or not being) friends afterwords, and specifically, if you stayed connected via a social network, ie: Facebook, Myspace, etc. and how that experience worked out for you?

Just to inform you, I am living with her now... we are 26 and 27 and living with her dad paying rent (Yes, this is very awkward for me; on the other hand, she does not mind it and says it feels "natural"). I want to move back to "X" (another state; my first "home" away from home), and will likely leave on Saturday and head back and look for work... at any rate, this will be the first time that I have officially, physically, left, making a healthy decision for myself, to get away from this relationship and regain sanity, rest, peace, etc. I am very apprehensive simply because I simply do not have a job (I will be staying with a friend for a few weeks) and though I have been independent in terms of money while living here with my N, my N has been my emotional security... I am afraid of the big change.

At any rate, I know that a small thing like Facebook could ruin everything (my progress), so I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice? Also, I know this might sound weird, but I also think if we're not Facebook friends, just knowing this will drive me nuts (I think this is due to unresolved grief on my end) and my grief will be intensified and prolonged. Ugh, "damn if you do, damn if you don't!" Help!