Thanks everyone... Really helped me settle down. I feel pretty good most of the time with occasional bouts of out of body experiences. I know I'm at a sort of inflection point where it's time to really re-engage my life with the larger world and do something constructive. I've realized that my emotions are now mostly real and not rationalizations of an addiction (I've gotten really god at cAlling myself out on my own internal BS (gee that term stinkin' thinkin' actually makes sense) smile).