Freedom1990

I'm in agreement on all of this.

I haven't a 'click' from anyone in years, and yes, I have done some dating. I considered the absence of a click good. That was completely foreign to me until a lot of work was done on self.

The 'uber communicators' jumped out at me too. Tons of texts/emails/phone calls would be a huge red flag for me personally if I was engaging with someone in that way, especially being just a week and a half into knowing each other. That would indicate to me that I was still trying to fill a hole within that I hadn't yet learned to fill myself.

When I finally started dating again, I had no desire for mass communication. There were no 3 hour phone calls. I was glad to come home at the end of the date, and didn't give it a second thought.

I had finally come to a place in my recovery where I didn't need outside validation. My dates were no more significant in my life than going to work each day, or shopping for groceries. Of course I enjoyed being taken out for supper and a movie, but when it was over at the end of the day, that was that!

I never understood what balance or being healthy was in a relationship until I made a firm commitment to leave men alone and do some long-term and hard work internally.