WW, I am so glad you posted here with friends. Facing relationship trauma in our sobriety is always difficult....but.....like taking the step to get sober....we have to make positive changes for us and that includes relationships that sadly can be toxic.
I did not get sober with my ex.....the circumstances were such that getting sober never would have been a reality. We had traveled down such a destructive path that both him and I needed to separate. We needed to move on.
As Carol put it.......my ex went on but I have made a remarkable comeback beyond anything I could have imagined. I moved to Germany from the states, remarried to a wonderful partner and got the support and help I needed to get sober. I then started living healthy for me, started loving myself again (which for 10 years with ex was me hating myself and living on self-destruct) and seeing that while I am not perfect....I appreciate and respect me and my life is what I CHOOSE to make it. I then got a job and have created my own identity.
Oh it was a rough road but in the course of less then 2 years.....well I have now 76 days of sobriety which I haven't had since 2000!!!!
Huggs my friend and know that while we battle the demon and focus on making positive change....sometimes those around us stay the same. Not good for us and while it may hurt us to do so.....we have to move on.
We are here for you so keep sharing. This one of the blessings I have found in SR. Our friends care about us here and always there to listen and support us in our journey.
Please update us on how things go in group. Huggs.