mercurial me:
Thanks! I will certainly update - it feels better to do so rather than keep everything bottled up inside.
price:
Well, the one thing I've gotten practice in lately, it's waiting
Thank you for your support!
Anna:
Thank you so much! I'm not too sure I'd say I'm all that confident about this..... but I know it's the wiser course of action rather than continuing the dance of insanity that our relationship had become.
Loveon2legs:
Thank you! I wish you the best too! I'm not forming any ideas as to what will come of this separation - it's the actual separation that I'm trying to focus on right now instead. For me, it's a breath of fresh-air - some (scary) freedom. I don't even know if I have a hope for things to reconcile.... I just needed the instability to come to an end.
Humblebee:
No kidding, right? I'm so thankful for my friends and mom right now, it's ridiculous. I wish I could mow all their lawns, clean all their dwellings, and make them all dinner
. The saying you mentioned is interesting.... I'll be thinking about that one again tonight. Thanks for the congrats! I'm a little scared to be alone, relationship-wise. I've been in one for so long that I'm feeling a little dread about this sudden freedom. And you're right - recovery requires change, sometimes big change. And if this relationship wasn't healthy before I started recovery, and hasn't changed.... well, time to start some change on my own I suppose. I guess I did just that. I'll be getting some fresh air tonight too - and I'm going to re-read my old journal entries about how he'd upset me in the past.
CarolD:
Thanks for the hug and understanding! I think I'll thrive too.... eventually. I need some "me" time I think. It'll be a while before I even begin to entertain the notion of either hooking back up with my partner, or entering the dating world again. Thanks again!
Coffeenut:
Thank you! So, so glad to be here. SR is a huge saving grace.
UPDATE:
Well, as he'd left it in the message he sent last night, he asked me to contact him whenever I felt comfortable enough to do so, and that love me. He made it 13 hours without me responding in any way before he went back on his words and decided to text me. It kept it short, but what he said further reinforced some of the reasons why I'm doing this. He said "I want to talk about your letter. How about dinner at that Japanese restaurant tonight at 7?"
For someone who said they were going to be heavily considering my letter, and were going to wait to hear from me, he didn't end up doing a very good job >.<
I still won't be talking to him tonight. I want the silence to be there between us so he can REALLY think and consider what I wrote. He has to understand that he's basically lost me, and it would take some significant changes in how he behaves toward our "relationship" and me in general for me to even think about talking to him again.
Meanwhile, I might even go to the downtown alano tonight. If not, then I'll work on some projects and chores instead. And then there's group tomorrow night. I should probably open up there and let everyone there know what's up.
Eugh, I can't listen to some of my favorite songs right now because they make me think about him
Gonna have to change my playlist.
Take care, and thanks again everyone!
Blessed be,
WW