Here is the self help sequence to use when you are working on your relationship problems in private.
1. Think about your problem and focus on something specific about the whole subject that makes you feel especially unhappy. Please be sure to try this sequence on something that really feels bad - if there is no emotion, you cannot release it successfully. In the next section, there will be some pointers on how to formulate the right phrases to get started.
2. Find a phrase or a sentence that describes the problem succinctly and clearly to you. As an example, we'll use an imaginary person who described his feelings like this: "I just can't go on without her." This gives us what we call the "opening statement" - "I just can't go on without her."
3. Consider for a moment how bad this problem is, how bad does it make you feel? and give it a score from 0 - 10, 0 being no emotion at all and 10 being unbearably painful. This is important so we can judge later how much emotion was released.
4. Place your flat hand on your chest, either left or right, just above your heart. Wait until you can feel the warmth of your hand through your clothes, rub the hand round in a small circle and say the opening statement:
"Even though (insert statement of problem), I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself"
Repeat this opening statement three times in all, continuously rubbing the chest area just below the collar bone.
In our example, the man would say, "Even though I can't go on without her, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself".
5. We now use a shortened version of the opening statement which is called the Reminder phrase and tap lightly with one or two fingers, about seven to nine times, on the following spots (either side is fine) as we say the Reminder phrase on each point once:
Start Of The Eyebrow - Where the bone behind your eyebrow turns into the bridge of your nose.
Corner Of The Eye - On the bone in the corner of your eye.
Under The Eye - On the bone just below your eye, in line with your pupil if
you look straight ahead.
Under The Nose - Between you nose and your upper lip
Under The Mouth - In the indentation between your chin and your lower lip
Collarbone - In the angle formed by your collarbone and the breastbone
Under Arm - in line with a man's nipples on the side of the body
Thumb - all finger points are on the side of the finger facing towards you,
in line with the nail bed
Index Finger
Middle Finger
Little Finger
Karate Chop Point - on the side of your hand, roughly in line with your life
line.
Gamut Point - on the back of your hand, just behind and between the knuckles of your ring and little finger.
In the example, the man would have tapped on the points and said on each one, "I can't go on without her.".
When you're all the way through, take a deep breath in and out. Wait for about 30 seconds, then say the original statement again and ask yourself to give a new rating on the 0 - 10 scale.
If there is any emotion remaining, you do the sequence again, starting with a new set up statement which reflects the change, such as, "Even though there is some of this problem remaining, I deeply and profoundly accept myself".
When there is only a little reminder, you can completely remove the rest of the emotion with this form of statement, "I want to get over this problem entirely, and I deeply and profoundly accept myself."