You are certainly on the right track!
My mother is a alcoholic, she was a hand full. However, when I had enough, I engaged the "No Contact" rule, I did not talk to or see her for 10 years. The below applies to what I did:
"Punish them by disengaging every time they transgress. Condition them not to misbehave, not to abuse you".
We have been back together for 6 years, she knows my bounderies, and, abides by them.
I can relate to most of what you posted.
Thanks