nodaybut2day -- I'll expect that maybe he wont quit.
I expect that the end decision is mine and if I want to be with a drinker or not.
I WILL talk to him, I know that already.
I am preparing myself right now, as I read and talk here. I want to be sure I have covered what needs to be covered, FOR ME.
Like, one thing I want to have under control is: I feel great love and tenderness toward him. I fear hurting his feelings or making him feel like he's not a good person. Maybe this is co-dependant 'his feelings are my responsibility' type thinking, or maybe I just love him and care about how he feels. "You drink too much and if you dont stop I will leave this relationship" is not how I want to approach this. It may actually be a truth, but there has to be a much better delivery of the message.
Making sure I do not cause some emotional unease (which Im sure it will in some form) does not take precedence over getting to the bottom of this though.
I do not yet know how to approach this while being compassionate but not weak.
Strong but not seeming cold.
While I wont over-extend myself with walking on eggshells about the conversation with him, I do care enough about him and the end result that I would rather approach it with some education and information behind me and with my own feelings in check.