I can only tell you my story and what works and what didn't for me. I fell in love with and married an alcoholic. Had I educated myself more as you are doing perhaps I would have avoided getting so sick myself and so wrapped up in his disease. We had great times between the binges but there would always be another binge. It was like whiplash. Just when you thought you had seen the last one here it came again. In Jan. I divorced a man that I love very much. It was the best thing that I could have done for both of us. Now he can be responsible for himself and I can try and regain my sanity. I literally lost myself in his addiction. This board helped me tremendously through some very difficult times. I don't know what questionnaire you answered about AlAnon but I found a meeting and took a chance and it was one of the best things I could have done. I had heard from multiple sources that it would help me and finally I went and I am so glad that I did. I thought that our love was magical until I was bulldozed over by his addiction. I learned that I was just another codependent and he was just another addict. We are both textbook. Now I'm reading and talking to people that have been through the same thing and working on ME. The sky is starting to look blue again and I know that I'm going to be o.k. I don't think any of us would wish what we have been through on anyone else. So that I why I sit here on a Monday morning needing to be doing something else and take the time to write. Good luck to you.