Originally Posted by
Helpseeker 
He has asked me to research characteristics of recovering alcoholics so that I could better understand what conflicts consume them. :
Red flag - putting the focus on him.
I too am a Christian. I am divorcing my AH after 21 years of putting the focus on him and trying to find out why he does whay he does. He was even sober for the middle seven years - and still the focus was on him.
Cannot tell you how crazy and sick I became while focussing on him and his problems.
I am not the one to heal him and he is not the one to heal me> I had to get away to let God to his work.
Hugs