Originally Posted by
LisaJean1970 
I told him that I understand that he has a disease, and that I am not going to just throw him out every time he slips up. BUT, I also told him that I demand honesty from him. When he wants a drink, he is going to tell me, and we are going to get him in touch with his support group. If he does drink, then he is going to tell me.
Although I am a recovering codependent, I am going to speak to you as a recovering alcoholic with long-term sobriety.
Slips are for banana peels, as in "I slipped on a banana peel."
I'm particularly concerned about the portion of your statements that I put in bold.
He's a big boy and needs to put his big boy pants on.
His best support is out there among recovering alcoholics who have found a solution, and he is a big boy capable of making his own calls to support people.
When I got out of a 30 day inpatient rehab, I was in a strange new town, and the single mother of an 8 year old daughter.
There was no one there to pat me on the hand and say "Honey, you need to let me know if you want to drink and we'll take care of it together."
I had to reach out myself and make those phone calls to people in AA or get myself to a meeting or get out my Big Book, read, drop to my knees and pray.
Frankly, I'm eternally grateful for that experience because it taught me that I, and I alone am responsible for my own recovery.
You already have one baby on the way, and to be honest, you're setting yourself up for parenting two.
I'm not going to sugar-coat it for you because that's just not my style.
Give him the
dignity to make his own choices, and set your boundaries firm.
You will do him, yourself, and that baby no favors if you make yourself his source of support.
I also have a 32 year old daughter who's active in addictions.
She is no longer welcome in my home.
It's just that simple.