(((Wittss))) - being aware IS a huge step, though I sometimes need to be reminded of that
Any time I've worked on changing a behavior, or the way I think about things, the first step was becoming aware in the first place. Then my brain has time to think..is this just an automatic response (it usually is) and can I REALLY think about it and see if there's any true reason to feel what I'm feeling, or is it just a conditioned response. It takes time, but I've found that it IS possible to change those old feelings.
(((Annie))) - I hope you have a great time at Disney. Just imagine all of us there with you...I'll be Goofy
Yes, my job at McD's IS temporary, but unless I somehow come up with a way to spend more time on school, it may be quite a while before I can get another job (unless HP has other ideas!)
I had decided to have faith that my boss would make things all right, and I was right. When I mentioned my schedule and that I needed to talk to him about it, everyone chimed in about THEIR schedules and "problems". He said that he was new to doing our schedule and would work with everyone. We were walking away, and I mentioned that he had me getting off at midnight on Fri., coming back in at 7 on Sat for only 3-1/2 hours and he said "WHAT?!?! I must be CRAZY" and asked me to get bring the schedule over.
He looked at what he'd had me scheduled for, again said "I MUST be crazy", asked what I'd BEEN working, and gave me back what I've been working, except that instead of overnights, I'll work 4p-midnight
This should STAY my schedule unless I request something different. I also told him I'd started doing the computer modules, and that they DID help, and I really appreciated him giving me concrete suggestions on how to learn stuff and improve myself, rather than just get frustrated and snap "you should KNOW how to do this!!" He said I'm not ready for "the back" (grill area), but not to worry, I would be.
Though this is not the job I plan to make a career of, it feels awesome to have my boss in my corner, to be appreciated and to be able to go to him with concerns and not be "blown off". SOOOO different from my last job.
My g'ma is coming here from CA. Her sister died, which has hit her pretty hard. My uncle is bringing her halfway, she wants to see her nieces and nephews, but they are making things difficult, for some reason. I guess dad will go to Memphis, on the way back from Canada and pick her up (she refuses to fly). She keeps saying she wants to see me and dad. She and my stepmom also get along GREAT, so I'm glad she's coming. She's 91, and my aunt told dad that, though she's doing pretty darned good for her age, she IS getting older and it's hitting dad that she's not going to be here forever.
When she's been here before, dad's always left my mom (when she was alive) or my stepmom to entertain her. I told him he'd better not do that, this time. He talks about missing her, but then doesn't spend quality time with her. I'm guilty, too...spend too much time in my room. We both still have to work, but hopefully we'll be home enough that we get to spend time with her. She's a codie, through and through, when it comes to her kids and grandkids, but it really doesn't affect ME, and I love her dearly. She's been dealing with my uncle (on methadone, bipolar) and his son, my cousin (alcoholic, schizophrenic) at home, so I hope she can not worry about that while she's here.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy