I'm not an Al Anon person - too introverted I think - but I know that others here would recommend joining and getting a sponsor to work the steps.
Have you read Codependent No More? Have you followed the activities in it? I re read it for a 'tune up' every few months or so. Counselling helped me start to trust myself again. I still have a long way to go though. Lots of self reflection and examination of my motives help me to steer clear of my codie impulses. Maintaining a level of self awareness to stop big codie relapses is exhausting at first but soon becomes a habit. This site has helped me so much too!
You can do this. You don't need to live the way you have been living. You can find your centre again!