Hi Junebugs,
Just my nightly check-in.
Everything is going well. I had my first argument today with my partner since sobriety. It was around 2 pm so my drinking trigger didn't go off. Had it been 8 pm it would have been more of a speedbump.
But, all the same it's interesting to have to deal with life in reality without the backup plan of alcohol. No free passes to relaxation. No false solution to the problem. Interesting.
I've definitely needed my space this week. The less talking the better. Whenever I am talking to someone I've found myself elaborating less and when other people talk all I hear is blah blah blah blah..... . I definitely keep up my common courtesy, but red lights, tailgaters, and lines at the grocery store make me want to hurl rotten eggs at everyone.
I am secretly really happy and proud and feeling good but for some reason I can't bring myself to really show it to the outside world just yet.
The argument today wasn't that big of a deal, more of a minor quarrel but I think it turned some sort of switch, unrelated to it. As I drove off to lunch by myself the floodgates opened and the tears wouldn't stop.
This was the morning of day six and I think I became completely overwhelmed with the immensity of what I am accomplishing here. I think they were tears of sorrow, relief and joy all wrapped into one. They were big heavy tears.
Has anyone else had some sort of overwhelming flood of emotions come all at once?