Thank you, I will look more into the links when I am clear headed. Alchol has not yet ruined my life in terms of becoming a total failure. Instead it has put me into a state of stalemate. I am not going anywhere. I live in an appartment I can BARELY afford in terms of rent and car insurance. I was a 3.6 gpa student in highschool and there were high expectations of me. I am affording my life but not going anywhere. Alcohol seems to make me content with 'just getting by'. I get home from ****** labor job, to my barely affordable appartment and drink to make myself content with 'getting by'. I want more for myself. And I feel that self medication is keeping myself from making any steps forward. I don't feel that I can quit everything at once. But weed came WAY before the alcohol, and I still had motivation and aspirations back then. Perhaps I can quit drinking and use weight training and weed to get to sleep at night without a 10pack? Maybe marijuana isn't the answer? Maybe I need more help? There isn't any AA around here open after 8pm when I leave work. But I know that no matter what I will never take a step forward in life spending my free time drinking.