Bonbon, thanks for your post. It really, really helps to hear about others that struggle as I do with giving one more chance. I haven't made it as far as you have yet. Your progress over the past several months has been wonderful and dramatic. I agree with MG about pretending to be Spock. Maybe I could try that.
I pray that you will hang in there, and let him do this all on his own if he really will do it. You do deserve to be loved and cherished and cared for, and maybe he has lost his chance forever to do this for you. Too much water under the bridge.
Again, this rings so true to me that it is painful. Ahhhh, the truth may set you free, but me I think I will be crawling away!